Should I or Could I?

In response to David's questions:

#1. What main preliminary questions did you first work through to establish a ground floor to work off of?
The purpose of these questions is to determine, "Should I (or should I not) marry this person?" In other words, to find out whether the person is Biblically qualified and compatibly like-minded, and if being married to them fits within God's will.
These are examples of main preliminary questions we worked through. Obvious firsts include: whether the person a Christian and is growing in the Lord, discussing views of husband/wife roles, family vision, child education, worldview, financial issues, etc... (Note: worldviews can vary family to family even in a tight-knit community like HBC.)

#2. After you establish that you have the same worldview, and are making good progress forward, what next?
Once you have determined that it would be within God's will for you to marry the person, you can consider and answer the question, "Could I marry this person?" and "Do I want to marry this person?" At this point you are learning one another's personalities, likes/dislikes, growing and maturing together in the Lord through various difficulties, working together, creating a friendship, and learning how to be best friends.
In our experience, this one wasn't too hard to answer because we already knew each other for 7 years before the courtship began. Nevertheless, the months we have spent doing these things have been a huge blessing and, we believe, are laying an excellent foundation for marriage.

To sum it up,
The main preliminary questions we worked through were those which answered "Should I (or should I not) marry this person?" and after we were making good progress forward we did things to answer the questions, "Could I marry this person?" and "Do I want to marry this person?"

Any other questions out there?

Be God's and follow Him step by step...
Tyler & Perry

Today: One Year of Courtship!

On this day, one year ago, our courtship began. We are so thankful for this time, and we celebrate this day by spending time together. So far we (and Dad) have gone out to lunch and icecream, taken some pictures on a country road (see pic in sidebar), and listened to Rising Gael--one of our favorite contemporary Celtic bands. We gave each other letters reflecting on this day. As Andrew Peterson fans, we watched some videos in YouTube of him doing some of our favorite songs live.

What to say... what to say...?? We could go on and on about everything we're enjoying today and this past year, but we want to keep it somewhat concise. Suffice it to say, we're sharing a lot of joy, rejoicing in the work of the Lord, and having lots of fun!

Be God's and follow Him step by step...
Tyler & Perry

Interested Suitors

We had a question about the early stages of courtship with a scenario of:
"What does a girl do if she tells a interested guy to talk to her father and the guy is planning on doing so, but in the meantime he keeps talking to her?"
Here are our thoughts to avoid heartbreak and maintain innocence. This is just some practical advice; again we aren't necessarily the experts in 'relationships', but we do enjoy discussing it.

Response:
What should the girl do? First of all, she should talk to her dad! It it for her protection that the man should first speak to her father. She should avail herself of this protection (emotional as well as physical) and both parents' wise counsel about the situation. This, if she has not already given her heart away, should keep things from getting to a heartbreaking point.
Secondly, she probably needs to get unimpressed with the guy. At first it would be exciting that a guy was interested, but it's weird that he spoke to her first and then delayed in doing what she asked. Why is he messing with her heart while waiting to speak to her dad? That doesn't speak well of his ideas of "courtship," and it seems like he cares more for himself than for the girl he says he cares about! If she keeps her heart to herself and accepts wise counsel, she will be able to see that he may not be a great candidate to consider for a lifelong commitment.

And things that the guy could do is;
1. He needs to just go have the talk with the father, if he's ready.
2. If he has to wait, then keep conversations 'business like' to the girl.
3. If he becomes bothersome to the girl, she shouldn't hesitate to tell her father as previously mentioned.
4. She or preferably her dad could explain to the guy why they're protecting her heart and can persuade him to 'back off'. Girls can have a fair amount of influence on men, and if the man interested in her cares like he expresses, he should take 'it easy' for her sake and start practicing sacrifice, wisdom, patience, and true love.

What do we do for fun?

This is one of the first questions we received (sorry David, someone did beat you, through an email).
"What do you do for "fun" to get to know each other better?"

Answer:
Doing each others hobbies together, playing music, reading to each other, pillow fights, going to concerts, going on walks, playing a sport (Example:tennis), wash dishes/cook together, Listening to music, talking politics, performing music at community picnics, going on Sunday drives (with chaperone), paddle boat riding, picking berries, lobbing small pieces of metal at specific places on a cardboard box, making faces at each other, hiding around corners then jumping out and saying "boo!", having insane conversations (Example: the theology of daffodils - daffodilology), etc.

Great question BTW, it was fun to answer.
Us.

Courtship Questions

From the beginning of our courtship, we have desired that it be a blessing and encouragement to others.  One of the ways we wanted to accomplish this was to blog about our courtship for everyone who can't observe it firsthand.  Unfortunately--and surprisingly--we have found it puzzling to know what to write, and we realize this is why we have written so few inside-look posts.  We would love for you to ask your questions about our courtship, because answering them will solve our problem of knowing what to say.  It will give us crystal-clear ideas of what would be most interesting, helpful, and encouraging to read.

 

You can direct your questions to both of us or specifically to either Tyler or Perry.  We will post our answers on our respective blogs and on Step by Step, our courtship blog.

 

So, what do you want to know??